Working again?

Lord knows I cannot juggle working and going to school. But I kinda want to work. And I kinda need to finish school. So...after this semester I will have 94 credit hours which meets the 90 CU minimum needed to substitute teach in this school district. I've been thinking about this quietly all semester.

The sub system is automated, and I can put in what days I am available. I can tell it that I can only work on Monday, Wednesday and Friday. And then when they call me, I can tell it that I cannot make it that day if I am feeling too overwhelmed with school stuff. It seems like a win-win situation. But I need to look even further into it. I don't want to commit myself to something that I may not be able to handle.

The husband and I were talking last night about the things that used to make me happy before I lost myself in trying so hard to be perfect for everyone else. I used to want to be a kindergarten teacher. And I always loved working in childcare until stingy managment practices turned me off to it. Anyways, I think if I do this subbing thing, it may help me to find what *I* love in life.

I'm looking forward to it, but I'm also not trying to be too excited. It seems like whenever I get exicted enough to share with people I get shot down with words like "It's always something with you" or "You need to make up your mind" or whatever.

So for now this is our little secret.